Being a Missionary's Kid

Alot of times when people ask me, "Do you miss your parents?" I always say no. Most people think I enjoy the freedom that's why I answer that way. I guess it's partly true. Just that I also think unless you are a missionary's kid, there is something always in the deepest corner of your heart that's hard to talk about.

Alot of kids in this world are separated from their parents. Could be short term like for example the parents are always at work, or long term because the parents have settled their kids oversea. As a kid you can miss them, you can ask them to come back, you can worry that something might happen to them one day and you are not by their side.

Well, as a missionary kid, you can really do none of that. Their faith becomes your faith because that's the only way. Your faith can only lie in God. You cannot ask them back because they are serving God, you cannot worry for them because God is already watching. Talking about being there if they get into trouble, well, that's just not going to happen.

Before my parents took off on their 3 years term, alot of paper work was done. One of them involved my brother and I. We were told clearly, and asked to agree, that the mission organization hold no responsibility of my parents death if that should happen. Our cell phone numbers were given to the officials so they could contact us should they need to call us at anytime to deliver "news".

Everyday my parents go to different places deep in China to spread the Gospel. Not too long ago they were caught and locked up for questioning. I didn't know about this until they came out alive and told the tale. Next time I could be getting a call from the mission organization saying that my parents are caught again and they couldn't track them down. That could very well be the end of it and most of the time, bodies wouldn't be found.

Almost everyday when I think about my wedding next year I wonder if my parents could make it back safely by then.

2 months ago my dad was really sick. We were trying to send him to better hospitals in bigger cities for a thorough checkup but my dad refused. It took at least 3 weeks to finally convince him to take our advises. When my dad was away for his checkup my mom skyped me and asked me if I had ever realized that it's truely God's blessings to have my dad walk me down the aisle on my wedding day.

I thought,

"Of course I have thought about that.
I have thought about that long before my dad is sick.
I really look forward to that day when he walks me down the aisle.
I am just not sure if he can, yet."


So when someone asks if I miss my parents,
These are all that go through my mind,
if you know what I mean.